E-Mail Stuff 5

George Bush Jokes

The Prime Minister of China called President Bush on September 11th after the attack on the Pentagon...

"I am sorry to hear about the attack. It was a very big tragedy.... but in case you're missing any documents from Pentagon, we have copies of everything..."

Saddam Hussein called President Bush on September 11th...

Saddam : Mr. President, I would like to express my condolences to you.  It is a real tragedy.  So many

                 people, such great buildings...I would like to ensure you that we had nothing in connection with

                 it…

Bush : What buildings? What people?? What are you talking about?

Saddam : Oh, what time it is in America right now?

Bush : It's 8 o’clock in the morning.

Saddam : Ooopps! Will call you back in an hour!

Bush & Powell

Bush & Powell are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush & Powell?"

The barman says "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?"

Bush says, "We are planning World War 3"

The guy says, "Really? What’s going to happen?"

Bush says, " Well, we are going to kill 140 million Afghans this time and one bicycle repairman."

The guys exclaims, "A bicycle repairman??"

So Bush turns to Powell and says, "See, I told you, no one would worry about the 140 million Afghans!"

Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this today after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.

(We now take you to the Oval Office.)

George   : Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi      : Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George   : Great. Lay it on me.

Condi      : Hu is the new leader of China.

George   : That's what I want to know.

Condi      : That's what I'm telling you.

George   : That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi      : Yes.

George   : I mean the fellow's name.

Condi      : Hu.

George   : The guy in China.

Condi      : Hu.

George   : The new leader of China.

Condi      : Hu.

George   : The Chinaman!

Condi      : Hu is leading China.

George    : Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi      : I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George   : Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi      : That's the man's name.

George   : That's who's name?

Condi      : Yes.

George   : Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi      : Yes, sir.

George   : Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi     : That's correct.

George   : Then who is in China?

Condi      : Yes, sir.

George   : Yassir is in China?

Condi      : No, sir.

George   : Then who is?

Condi      : Yes, sir.

George   : Yassir?

Condi      : No, sir.

George   : Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General 

                 of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi     : Kofi?

George   : No, thanks.

Condi      : You want Kofi?

George   : No.

Condi      : You don't want Kofi.

George   : No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi      : Yes, sir.

George   : Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi      : Kofi?

George   : Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi      : And call who?

George   : Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi      : Hu is the guy in China.

George   : Will you stay out of China?!

Condi      : Yes, sir.

George   : And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi      : Kofi.

George   : All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi      : Rice, here.

George   : Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. 

                 And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?